Editorial

A Judge Talks to Divorcing Parents

Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.

No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of the other party-these children are one half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an 'idiot' his father is, or what a 'fool' his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.

That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.

Judge Michael Haas
District Court
Minnesota

Why New Members Are So Important

EDITORIAL by Robert Genis, 2006
ECMAS Webmaster & Public Relations Chair

I did a study of volunteer organizations back in the 80s. At that time the focus was on political organizations and co-operatives, but what I learned was and is pertinent today.

All volunteer organizations rely on unpaid workers. No profit is involved. Yet there must be some reason for each individual to participate, contribute and invest their time. Sometimes the effort is enormous. Often there seems to be no logical reason that one should suffer the slings and arrows of whatever pain that voluntarism might entail, yet they do.

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A child's thoughts

Mommy, please, it's just not fair.

Daddy, don't talk about Mommy when she's not there.

I love you both, don't make me choose, for if I must, we all will lose.

I know that both my parents care, and in my life, I want both there.

Though Mommy and Daddy, you're apart,
I love you both with all my heart..

- Unknown

Deadbeat defined:

Worthless, sponging idler, 1877, Amer. Eng. slang, dead + beat; was used colloquially to mean completely beaten (1821).

Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper

About deadbeat dads

Why does the media always automatically assume that a father's rights group might be attempting to avoid paying child or spousal support? Why does 'deadbeat dads' always automatically come to mind when these things are discussed?

- Jeremy Swanson, father's rights advocate

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

- Dale Carnegie

MEP is brutal! - Collection Methods Counterproductive to its Own Purpose

From: B J - posted on a Yahoo Group

The Maintenance Enforcement Program is, in short, a travesty

Parents should BOTH take responsibility for their children's financial needs. Any parent taking a lesser role in their children's lives is an equal travesty. That being said, the overwhelming inhumane powers that the Maintenance Enforcement Program uses without any thought or concern for their use is nothing short of criminal.

Taking away a driver's license is a good incentive to enforce people to pay their payments... so is pointing a gun at someone's head! One is not legal, the other should not be either. Using 100% bank garnishes, seizing assets and the like to get money is wrong. Sure it does get money, but at what cost? The cost is the creation of desperate, destitute people, starving, with no means to support themselves, to get to work, to cloth themselves, to be human. It sends people into hopelessness and in doing so, forces people to lie, cheat, beg, and even choose between their own survival needs and that of their children.

The Maintenance Program has the power to limit the paying parent's ability to better his or her financial status

By this, I mean it limits or removes any incentive to work harder to earn more money. The more money you earn, the more you have to pay. What it neglects is that if you earn more money, you also have to pay more in taxes. Which if someone actually ever does the math, aside from myself , will realize that until the amount of income is incredibly increased, there is a great rise in payment for the children, but no gain for the parent making the payments. That sounds great, since we all wish to give more to our kids but does this extra go to the kids? Really?

The airplane analogy that one should put on your own air mask then your children's makes sense. To extend the analogy, can a parent who cannot go to work, has no money to eat, has no place to live and is being threatened at every turn, be a good parent and a good provider for their children?

What MEP also neglects is that for debtor parents who have access and regular visitation with their kids, the children need a place to stay. Though a bachelor's suite might be ok for a single adult, it is not suitable for any long term for children. Maintenance seems to forget that there is a secondary residence and not just a primary residence. By neglecting the secondary residence, they seem to think its OK for the children to have one standard of living at one residence and a much lower standard at the other residence. This is wrong in many ways.

In my case, as with many, payments are based initially upon anger and greed, not fact and responsibility. Once this initial greed is built up, trying to get it reversed is exceptionally difficult, especially when one considers where this problem starts.

What starts the process is the break up of a marriage

Wrought with anger and hurt, it is natural to lash out in many ways though unfortunate. However, this could be resolved to a great extent if the courts and the lawyers, who are the rational independent groups, did not grant payments based upon fiction.

No one should ever have the power to take away another's humanity. Yet in a country of rights and freedoms, the MEP not only has the power to take these rights and freedoms away, but uses this power with no regard to any consequences.